FREEDOM

a friend of mine and i were discussing my blog...i told her that i dont have anything to write about..whatever i have written had come out of me due to a period of tremendous emotional upheaval...now that everything has gone back to a certain rhythm....i cant write anything...she just said the most amazing thing then...dont stop writing...if you have nothing to write about,write about nothing....how can i write about nothing...there has to be a subject....it reflects the kind of people we have become...subjective....we need something definite to make sense of the world....definition defines us...but why do we need to be defined at all...why cant it all be very fluid...maybe definition gives us asense of security....we are comfortable that way...but why....we define feelings....we define relationships....we define success...we define failure....we define our lives....why....do we need to...shouldnt we be feeling suffocated....why cant we be undefined....fluid....always changing....everything relative...wouldnt it be better that way....we neednt live our lives guided by well defined norms....wouldnt we actually be free then...we are lost souls...swimming in a fishbowl of definitiveness...why dont we try and break out....try and do something that cannot be defined....cannot be labelled....why dont we try and break free?? why do we not yearn for freedom???

CHOOSE LIFE

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that

RAINY DAY

it has rained all day today ..streets are waterlogged..the city is a mess.
but the day had alot of potential...u can spend a day like this in so many ways...sitting beside an open window...rain spraying on you...watching the world go by..watching the clouds change shape...watchin the birds tryin to take shelter from the rain in trees...a steaming mug of coffee .... a good book...good friends...good conversations...lazy conversations...smoke swirling out...melancholy wisps of smoke...floating away...like time...drifting away...beyond our mortal remembrance...memories of a day gone by...a day like this...waving a girl goodbye...from the middle of a street...her car driving off...me waving to her...didnt kno things would change when i would see her the next time...there was soo much hope that day...hope shattered later on...dreams crumbling...like waking up from a dream which you never wanted to end...moving on...similar days happening every year,rain and clouds...but still not quite the same...lookin across to the other side of the waterlogged street...stolen glances...stolen memories...a stolen smile....someone stealing a beat of your heart...maybe stealing much more...maybe stealing nothing at all...building castles....not castles...something smaller maybe...we were young once...we are young now...just doesnt feel the same anymore...we are tempered now...i cant explain...those days,wasnt this cynical...it has set in now...age and cynicism...they go hand in hand...life makes you lose faith in many things...the butterflies arent there anymore...maybe they r but not as active as they were once...maybe we dont fear the unknown anymore...maybe we have seen all there is to be seen...maybe we dont want to see anything new anymore...when we were young,when things were simple...we yearned for complexities...now that we have more than our fair share...we dont want it..i dont want it...i yearn for simplicity ....i miss simplicity...the innocence....the simple wonders...we used to look on wide eyed...havent been that way for a long time...the man who would be king...the boy who would be king...i was once that boy...all of us were...we wanted it all...thought we would get it all...we were the princes of the universe...just got lost somewhere on the road to our kingdom...still wandering around,clinging on to the last shred of hope...maybe we shall discover el dorado...someday...surely...maybe...what happened to us...it wasnt to be this way,was it..we were quitely confident...something happened on the way...dont know...dont want to find out...where did i go wrong...or was it all wrong...from the very outset...faith no more...we had a chance...i had a chance...once...did i lose it...did i lose my way...did i lose much more...did i lose anything at all.......lost friends,lost enemies,lost bets,lost our minds,lost ourselves in someone,lost someone....but did we really lose anything at all??

ORISSA-THE LOST FOOTSTEPS

wyrd header for a blog ,isnt it?? there are reasons. let me explain.
monsoons are here;rained last night,rained all day today!! a lot of rain,a looooootttttt!!! was plannin to saty home... but no!!fate had other things in store for me...in the shape of an oriya... my friend called me.. asked me to come over to athes place..said water was just "ankle high"!! me,being the trusting soul that i am, went over...only when got their,i realized that oriya anatomy is very different from human anatomy...apparently they have ankles where we have our waists....yes!!! thats how high the water reached... waist deep!!!!!!!!
and i am not quite short...so it was a lot of water...debanjan apparently was submerged..walkin with his hands in the air ... to protect his umbrella and wallet..poor guy... srin and bob almost did drown...all for the lies and the treacheries of an oriya...!! i really wanted to kill him...i was so angry..but we rastafarians cannot sustain our anger for a prolonged period of time...so it was back to 29 and other things...my jeans being soaked,i had to change into something dry..it was srins shorts for me...and they were very loose...dont kno how i managed... debanjan had a tarzan-meets-boyscout look, with his shorts and a leopard print belt or scarf around his waist...and kenneth...dear kenneth...he had a patiala..wat a sight...he got the laughs...athe got the pics... and then back home the same way..we got freaked on the way back..saw some wires...and then some flashes...thought we were goin to die..i was preparin to say the goodbyes...then realized it was athe clickin pics from her terrace...wat a fright she gave us...but it was good... we did lose our footsteps in the water...but we also lost our gloominess in laughter...it was all good...it always is...it always is...

RIDING IN THE RAIN

u have days wen simple things get u high?? i had one today. had gone too pinus place.got there and realized that we didnt have very important ingredient for a relaxed evening. so had to go out and get it.
we decided to ride cycles. it was a cloudy day today.with a light drizzle. ohh!! wat a ride!! singing and cyclin in the rain,with a friend!! suddenly realized that it doesnt get better than this... these are the times we will remember...not the nights spent at nightclubs or pubs,partyin...but evenings wid frnds at someones house, maybe nites wid frnds,days wid frnds,cycle rides wid frnds, sittin down later wid cards and warm food later,while it is rainin outside.... wonderful!!! even though i got needled all evenin...it was fun..good fun!! THESE ARE THE DAYS!!